all things condoms

Grannies, condoms, and negligees

Posted by Condomologist on April 21, 2009

I’m all for grandmas having sex  — in fact, I encourage it — and I’m all for grandmas insisting on protection when having sex — what with all the STDs going around the nursing home these days — but they may just be taking their hip, young schtick too far when they’re writing songs about wearing negligees. Nah, just kidding, I love older women. Check out “The Condom Song” by the Raging Grannies, a loose coalition of older ladies worldwide speaking out for peace, justice, and (apparently) safer sex. Written to the tune of “When You Wore a Tulip,”  the song begins, “I used to wear a diaphragm/I used to take the pill/I smeared myself with every kind/Of contraceptive gel,” and one later learns that the grannies’ slang term for condoms is gutta-percha. Thinking I’d heard of nearly all the various argot referring to condoms, I did some research, which revealed that, in fact, condoms were once made out of gutta-percha rubbber, derived from the sap of trees by the same name. But the true test of the Raging Grannies’ street cred, of course, is to check Urban Dictionary, which unfortunately has no listing for gutta-percha. Gutta-mothafucka? Absolutely a valid slang term. Clearly means gangsta, hustla, or hooodrat. Gutta-percha? Not so much. Until you can drop this song to a Dr. Dre beat, I have to call you grannies out on this one. But good stuff promoting safer sex. And I want video of you singing this tune in front of some state capitol building somewhere.


2 Responses to “Grannies, condoms, and negligees”

  1. Kathy said

    How about this one?

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