Condomologist

all things condoms

Condoms decrease pleasure, duh!

Posted by Condomologist on February 6, 2009

The reason this blog exists is because my work tells me that the biggest reason people don’t use condoms is not because they’re too expensive or not readily available, but because it just doesn’t feel as good. The folks over at Kinsey Institute confirm this. So the mission henceforth is to figure out how we can make condom use more pleasureable.

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2 Responses to “Condoms decrease pleasure, duh!”

  1. Tommy Atz said

    I actually also think a major reason people are not using condoms is because people can’t talk about sex. We all grow up with various odd messages about sex whether it ‘feels weird’ to talk about or ‘bring up.’ In addition many get shy or hold back because of feelings they are having ie. “they wont want to have sex with me if I ask for a condom,” or “they’re so hot.”
    Yes for many the actual physical sensations do overwhelm their senses. Considering how absolutely terrified most are of pregnancy and HIV though I think many would choose to use a condom over condom free sex IF they were able to think out loud more about their actions. As a HIV Tester I make sure to listen to people talk about condoms and their fears. SOOO often people say they wished they used a condom so they didn’t have to be so afraid of their HIV status. I constantly wonder how their condom usage would be different if their friends knew how to listen better when they told their sex stories and got to really think out loud as opposed to simply answering the questions that get fired off by an enticed ear.

  2. Jonathan said

    BTW: Tommy is one of my many Philadelphia resident sexperts, holding it down for Safeguards, an organization that does excellent work.

    No question one of the biggest obstacles to safer sex is communication, or lack thereof. If we talked about sex and condoms and made young people comfortable with this thing so present in all our lives, we’d be able to far better negotiate throwing on a rubber in the heat of the moment.

    As for your comment that “SOOO often people say they wished they used a condom so they didn’t have to be so afraid of their HIV status” (and I’ll add pregnancy to that), you’re right, but that’s all hindsight. Of course they wished they wrapped up now that they’re possibly infected or pregnant. So the question goes back to how we do what you say and be better listeners, allow our friends and relatives to “really think out loud as opposed to simply answering the questions that get fired off by an enticed ear.” This brings me to another main goal of this site and the work we do, which is to normalize sexuality in all its forms to make others more at ease as sexual beings.

    I’d add more reasons — which I’ll discuss at length later — to my overly simplistic view that we don’t use them because we don’t like them: it ruins the moment; she’s on birth control; we don’t know that lube on both the INSIDE and outside makes it feel better; I’m a top and he’s a bottom, so I’m not at risk; there’s no risk for oral sex; I’ll just pull out before I cum; I’ll lose my erection.

    Please add your feedback, so we can discuss further.

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