Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane…and Trojan Magnum

 

This post is a surreal moment for Jack considering I never thought anyone would care what I had to say about the Trojan Magnum.  I am not saying I am small, but I know I am certainly not big by any means, and my Irish descent certainly doesn’t help me out at all.  Regardless, Jack & Diane enjoyed the experience. Let’s break it down…

 

1. Throwing It On – 4 Points
   1. This condom is marketed as,” Larger than standard latex condoms for extra comfort” and I would have to agree with this explanation.  The condom fit very nicely and didn’t apply pressure to the base of penis as others can. While this is a latex condom the smell didn’t overwhelm the room and it rolled out nicely.
2. During – 8 Total Points
   1. Both Jack & Diane enjoyed the experience for several reasons.  First the condom did not dry out, and it did not dry out Diane so no extra lube was needed.  The condom provided a pleasurable experience and lasted a length of time as both of us had some drinks before hand.  The condom continued to fit well during sex as well.  It did not get tighter or irritate the penis at all.
3. Finish – 3 Points
   1. The condom did not break, and the overall experience was above average.  However, I felt the tip of the condom did not hold all of jiz as it started to surround the penis.  While this could have been a sensation it did make me nervous.

 

I would encourage giving this condom a try despite the size stereotype.  If you check out Trojans website they offer some other options in the Magnum line including Thin and Ecstasy.  Also, it can’t hurt if you are single and you pull one of these condoms out the first time you are with a chick.

 

OVERALL SCORE: 15 Points

 

Jack and Diane’s Running Scoreboard

 

      1 Point                             10 points                              20 points

Is this a trash bag?    Definitely wearing a condom,      Amazing – Isn’t

                                    but at least I’m getting laid         Safe Sex Great!

 

Lifestyle Skyn — 20 points

Crown Skin Less Skin — 10 points

Lifestyle Ultra Lubricated — 15 points

Trojan Magnum — 15 points

 

Jack and Diane Review – Lifestyle Ultra Lubricated

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane…and Lifestyle Ultra Lubricated.

 

As a quick review we have had the Dustin Pedroia of condoms…the ‘Lifestyle Skyn’ and the Mendoza line of condom’s in the ‘Skin Less Skin Crown Condom.’  For all of you who have no idea what I’m talking about… (The Mendoza Line is an informal term used in baseball when a position player’s batting average falls below the boundary between extremely poor and merely below-average offensive production.)  Our next stop is the ‘Lifestyle Ultra Lubricated.’  Let’s break it down…

 

1. Throwing It On – 4 Points
   1. This condom is considered ‘ultra’ lubricated.  Come to think of it I don’t know the difference between lightly and ultra.  Anyways, this condom rolled on as we all expect condoms too, as opposed to being pulled on.  No pain and it didn’t ruin the moment.  Flat out from the male perspective this is all that matters. 
   2. Also, no strong order from the rubber or lube.  So we are two for two.
2. During – 7 Total Points
   1. There was nothing but a pleasurable experience from both Jack & Diane as we both got into it and starting mixing up positions.
   2. The condom started going downhill as it started to slide off and bunch up near the tip.  You all know what I’m talking about as the condom starts to look like a tube sock you just took off after gym class.  So there was a need to readjust and pull it down.
3. Finish – 4 Points
   1. The condom did not break, and the overall experience was above average.  The collection of the condom near the tip of the penis did cause some concern, but the condom did operate well. 

 

From the female perspective, Diane did not complain at all about the condom, so that can be considered a success as well.  This condom provided a pleasurable experience and the only thing we had to worry about was it bunching up towards the top.  Our advice to you all… worth the effort and the money.

 

OVERALL SCORE: 15 Points

Jack and Diane’s Running Scoreboard

 

      1 Point                             10 points                              20 points

Is this a trash bag?    Definitely wearing a condom,      Amazing – Isn’t

                                  but at least I’m getting laid         Safe Sex Great!

 

Lifestyle Skyn — 20 points

Crown Skin Less Skin — 10 points

Lifestyle Ultra Lubricated — 15 points

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane…and Skin Less Skin Crown Condom.

 

It is a tad disheartening that we tried out what we believe is the best condom first.  However, it is our commitment to you the readers and the Condomologist to brave on and continue having sex.  Tough I know, but we are committed to you all.  Our next stop is the ‘Skin Less Skin Crown Condom.’  Let’s break it down…

 

1. Throwing It On – 2 Points
   1. This condom is lightly lubricated and it was still difficult to roll out.  I find that some condoms you basically have to pull them down as opposed to rolling them down.  This would be an example of pulling.  It wasn’t terrible, but it certainly affected the moment.
   2. The smell wasn’t bad either as you couldn’t smell the rubber.
2. During – 6 Total Points
   1. The immediate reaction from Diane was, “ough!” which is not a good first impression to deal with from both the male and female perspective.  Once everyone got accustomed to the situation and put some more lube on…the experience was pleasurable. 
   2. The condom did stay in place the entire time and was still in place after finish.
   3. We did have to readjust by pulling it down and Diane was not happy with the fact that it slowly dried her out.
3. Finish – 2 Points
   1. The condom did not break, and the overall experience was average to below average.  Taking it off caused some pain and left a red ring around the area the condom covered suggesting some irritation, but nothing causing pain or discomfort.

In this case the overall point score reflects exactly Jack & Diane’s sentiment about the experience: average.  This is the condom you break out if you meet someone out, hit it off and need to see them naked as soon as you get home.  However, if you are in a steady sexual relationship don’t waste your time or money.

 

OVERALL SCORE: 10 Points

Jack and Diane’s Running Scoreboard

 

      1 Point                              10 points                           20 points

Is this a trash bag?       Definitely wearing a condom,          Amazing – Isn’t 

                                     but at least I’m getting laid.          Safe Sex Great?

 

Lifestyle Skyn — 20 points

Crown Skin Less Skin — 10 points

   

Jack and Diane Review – Lifestyle Skyn

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane…and Lifestyle Skyn.

 

The condomologist’s review of any type of condom we can get our hands on begins with the Lifestyle Skyn. If you visit lifestyles.com, first thing I noticed was the fact that they are marketing this product as “Wearing Next to Nothing.”  Jack and Diane would agree with that claim 100%.  The overall experience was the best we have both had in a condom.  Let’s break it down…

 

1. Throwing It On – 5 Points
   1. Very easy to put on.  Rolled out easily, not overly gooey from the lube.  Good immediate feeling.
   2. No strong rubber odor filling the room.
2. During – 10 Total Points
   1. Both Jack and Diane loved the immediate insertion.  Diane even asked Jack to pull out and check to see if it was still on.
   2. The condom stayed in place the entire time and as we both got into it more, we both forgot it was on.  (Which I would assume is the highest compliment you can pay to the manufacturer.)
   3. No readjustment necessary.  No extra lube was necessary.  Diane was happy with the fact that it didn’t dry her out either.
3. Finish – 5 Points
   1. The condom did not break, and the overall experience was awesome.  Taking it off did not hurt at all and did not leave a strong rubber smell in the room.  It did not leave a ring or red irritation around Jack’s penis either.

 

Lifestyles is pushing these product highlights:

• New SKYN condoms provide a softer, more natural feel and have been clinically proven to enhance sensation.
• Combines the strength of premium latex with the sensitivity of an ultra thin condom for the skyn-to skyn sensation
• Long lasting, ultra smooth lubricated enhances the experience!
• Each condom electronically tested to meet U.S. & Safety & Reliability standards

 

Jack & Diane agree with all these claims because we loved the experience this condom provided.  So much so that the first thing we did was google it to find the cheapest place we could buy it.  Drugstore.com has it for $8.99 and we highly recommend trying this product out.

 

 

OVERALL SCORE: 20 Points

Condomologist Update: These condoms are made of polyisoprene, which is similar to polyurethane and is non-latex, so they may work well for those with latex allergies. Also, I fear I may have lost my condom testers, now that the first product they’ve reviewed received a top score. Here’s to hoping they’re willing to try out other condoms in the future — and switch mid-sex to a Skyn when necessary.

Jack and Diane’s

Little ditty…’bout Jack and Diane.

 

Probably makes sense to introduce ourselves considering this is our first post. 

 

Few weeks back, Jonathan had a post requesting a volunteer to try out and report back performance of different condoms.  My girlfriend and I thought this would be a great excuse to have more sex, talk about it with each other and report our findings back to the world.  We are a couple of 20-something’s, who have been dating for over 4 years, and have recently started using condoms again because Diane hated the way the pill was affecting her body. 

 

Anyways, our goal here is to be 100% honest and open about the condoms we use, the experience we had, and provide some insight from the male AND female perspective.

 

In evaluating anything, there is always a scale in which to determine ‘success’ whether it be ERA, Votes, Weight, Score and so on.  We think it makes sense to do it in this case as well, so we have broken down the experience into the following categories:

 

1. Throwing It On – Possible 5 Total Points
   1. Was it easy to put on?
   2. Did it roll out easily?
   3. Can you feel the lube?
   4. Initial thoughts?
2. During – Possible 10 Total Points
   1. Male and Female thoughts.
   2. Is it still in place?
   3. Do you have to pull it down?
3. Finish – Possible 5 Points
   1. Did it break?
   2. Overall experience.
   3. After you’re done.

 

Therefore, our condom evaluation scale is as follows:

 

       1 Point                           10 Points                         20 Points

Is this a trash bag?       Definitely wearing a condom,      Amazing — Isn’t

                                    but at least I’m getting laid.       Safe Sex great?

 

Coming up…banging with our first friend a.k.a. test subject the Lifestyle Skyn.